It was Saturday
15th February 2014.
It was 3 hours talks started from 10am until 1pm.
The purposes of the talks were to remind us that
1) we are JPA scholars. and everyone looks high on us. so need to meet their expectation.
2) if we fail along the way of studying and the university rejects us, we need to pay what JPA has spent on us.
3) to motivate us to get 1st class hons.
There was also a sharing from Pn Shahnaz, currently pursuing her PhD in 4th year with 3 children (the eldest is already 16). She shared how he studied effectively by narrowing down her study time table.
For example, if she needs to study for two hours after having dinner, she will not just state in her schedule "study". Rather she will write, "Finish chapter 3 and 4". So that she can measure her achievement; either she met her goal or not.
I still remember, she said that the goals have to be SMART
S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = Attainable
R = Realistic
T = Time-frame (has time frame)
I used to do this, but it had been a long time.
******
After zuhr prayer, we should have our lunch.
But I stayed in the prayer room,
laying back,
keep thinking and asking myself,
why i feel so demotivated?
why am i in imperial studying engineering?
maybe i am incompetent to be in imperial?
until lunch hour passed.
once i get back to the seminar room,
en zaki asked me,
"akmal, tak makan? mai2 makan. makan ayam penyet ni"
i simply replied
"takpa2. tak rasa lapar"
and i really not in mood to do anything.
with toothache and fever still with me.
******
then, we were divided into 4 groups to do some activities.
i was in group 4.
we played telefon buruk, pencils and mencari harta karun games.
in telefon buruk game,
we need to pass the message given to the first person,
until the final person,
within our group.
then the final person will say what had been passed to him in front.
in pencils game,
we were given 12 pencils,
and we were needed to form 7 squares,
using all the pencils.
and we were last.
in mencari harta karun game,
the game involved all the JPA scholars to form 1 large group.
in the game, there will be one person who will hide/keep the harta karun.
then there'll be 2 pencuri that will curi the harta karun.
then mr azzam told us,
"okay, kita perlukan 2 orang pencuri"
i immediately raised my hand
volunteered to be one of the pencuris.
then we were asked to leave the room for a while
whilst they discussed who to hold the harta karun
mr azzam gave a hint,
the pencuri was who will initiate a movement
before the movement was followed by everyone.
after they had decided who'll keep the harta karun,
and discussed some tricks so that we couldnt notice who was initiating every movement,
we we asked to get back into the seminar room
trying to spot the pencuri.
and i got the pencuri spot on
after spending about 5-7 minutes observing
******
the final session we were asked to get back to our group
in the session, the person who held a keychain gave by the facilitator would need to keep his/her mouth shut.
then, the other people would describe him/her based on their first impression.
and what i got from them were
1) like to initiate thing - based on the harta karun game
2) sharp - able to spot the pencuri accurately
3) fast to pick up
4) critical - because they looked me always thinking
well,
all of those,
are just an act,
to cheer up my day,
from the gloomy feeling.
i never like to initiate thing
perhaps i once a sharp person. now, no more.
i am slow to pick up
and i never critical
all those qualities,
even i once had them,
had long gone.
******
and after the programme,
i met en zaki,
and asked about my status in JPA record.
then i knew
that i will not be having my summer allowance
that i already planned on how to spend them
the allowance
gone for good
:)
a long and hard road awaiting ahead.
i might pretend not to have problem with them.
but one day,
i will face them,
soon enough,
soon enough,
even if i dont want to.
good luck.
:)
life.
it simply goes on.
